Feeling Too Much

A few years ago, I went to a book signing in Atlanta where I met the founder of To Write Love on Her Arms, Jamie Torkowski. I'd been a supporter of TWLOHA for a long time, and it was a cause that was very close to my heart. I had been secretly dealing with depression for a while when I discovered TWLOHA, so meeting Jamie was a huge deal for me. I made a blog post about it back then, but I never posted it because I wasn't comfortable sharing that part of myself with anyone, much less the internet. Five years later, talking about my mental health doesn't scare me like it did then. I've been in therapy and taken medications off and on for anxiety and depression for years, and I have no shame around it. It's a part of my self-care. 

When I decided to get back into writing my blog, I came across the TWLOHA post that I never published and figured now would be as good a time as any to post it. 

 

June 2015

I guess the best place to start this blog post is at the very beginning. Four years ago, I was going through a funk. I was super stressed and overwhelmed with life, and I was in a place where I was just very unsure about everything. I was in Hot Topic one day shopping, and I came across a little rubber bracelet that said To Write Love On Her Arms. At the time, I had no idea what the saying meant. I just liked it, so I bought it. I googled the phrase, and I found out that To Write Love On Her Arms is a non-profit organization that helps people who are battling with depression, self-harm, addiction, or contemplating suicide. I immediately fell in love with the organization and its message. For me, it was so encouraging to know that there were other people struggling like me, and it was even more encouraging to know that there were people out there willing to help people like us. TWLOHA's message is that everyone is important. No matter how you are feeling right now, your life means something; people need other people. Ever since then, I have been a supporter of TWLOHA. When I got the chance to meet the founder, Jamie Tworkowski, I jumped at it.

Last week, Alex and I made a day trip up to Atlanta. Jamie was having a book signing promoting his new book, If You Feel Too Much. We got up around seven Tuesday morning, drove six hours, wasted some time in Atlanta, went to the book signing, and then drove the six hours back home. We made a special trip to meet Jamie, but it was totally worth it. So many people came out for the signing, and I loved seeing so many people that I had at least one thing in common with, TWLOHA. Jamie was so nice and laid back. He was so thankful for everyone that came out. He made sure that he took the time to thank everyone individually, and he made everyone feel important, which is the idea behind the organization.

I feel like I have this connection to Jamie because To Write Love On Her Arms found me at a time when I need it most. Whenever I was going through a hard time in my life, emotionally, I found encouragement in TWLOHA, and I will always be thankful for that. His book also has a special place in my heart. Just the title alone speaks to me because it describes me perfectly. Sometimes I do feel too much, but it's not always a bad thing. Maybe sometimes we all need to feel a little more; feel a little more compassion, feel a little more understanding, and - most importantly - feel a little more love. And if you're reading this and you're going through a hard time, know that you are not alone. You are important. You matter. If you take nothing away from this post, please take this. It can't always be cloudy skies. The storm may feel like it will last forever, but the sunshine is still there waiting to come back through. I strongly believe in To Write Love On Her Arms and all that it stands for. If you are struggling and need encouragement or help check out To Write Love On Her Arms. And if you're looking for something to read check out If You Feel Too Much. It is real, honest, and moving. I will not disappoint you.